HOW TO FACE LIFE'S CHALLENGES

Often things don't go the way we planned. How many times have you set out to do something, only to wind up doing something else? These unexpected detours often make you question whether to give up or not.

For example, I grew up in France fully expecting to spend my life there. So if you had told me 10 years ago that I'd be spending my adult life elsewhere (England and The Netherlands, in my case), I would have suggested you consult your doctor, because that would have been a crazy thought! But now it's a reality, and I enjoy it.

So, often challenges come to you, not to make your life miserable, but to get you where you should be.

The biggest excuse I have heard for not being able to succeed is lack of money. But challenges arise to remind us that success in life is not only about money. Of course having money might help in resolving part of a situation, but all of it? Surely not! Life will remind you quickly that your own success and well-being depends on your own inner self and strength. Even the world's richest men encounter tough challenges, so don't use money as an excuse: it's not.

Challenges come in all forms: tough, sad, ugly, unfair - challenges are never easy. You might feel that you are the only one in such a tough situation, but trust me, each one of us had or have our share. Rather than the content of the challenge, it's the attitude towards it that will make the difference.

Let's take a look at one man who's faced a lot of challenges, and has been defeated by many of them, yet is considered one of the most successful ever: Abraham Lincoln.

1816: His family was forced out of their home. He had to work to support them.

1818: His mother died.

1831 - Failed in business.

1832 - Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature. Also lost his job - wanted to go to law school but couldn’t get in.

1833 - Borrowed some money from a friend to begin a business and by the end of the year he was bankrupt. He spent the next 17 years of his life paying off this debt.

1834 - Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success!)

1835 – His fiancée died

1836 - Had nervous breakdown and was in bed for six months.

1838 - Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker

1843 - Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress

1846 - Elected to Congress (success!)

1848 - Lost re-nomination

1849 - Rejected for land officer position

1854 - Defeated in run for U.S. Senate

1856 - Defeated in run for nomination for Vice President

1858 - Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate

1860 - Elected President (success!)

After a string of defeats, did Lincoln quit? No! Instead he persevered and eventually found success. So what's your excuse?

To help you overcome your challenges, I thought about the steps below. Feel free to print it and keep it in your pocket and refer to it each time you feel like you want to give up. Read it as many times as needed. I sincerely hope this helps. Please don't give up on yourself - you could be the next Lincoln!

CAN- whatever it is that you think you can’t do, just remember that the very 1st step toward success is as simple as thinking: ‘’I CAN do it’’. If you can’t believe that you can, work on this before anything else. Brainwash yourself if needed, repeat that you can do it everyday in front of your mirror, speak to the people that believe in you, do whatever it takes, but just think that you can do it. Each time you think you can’t, just remember that what you think of yourself is very subjective and that everybody can. The only one stopping you is you!

HELP- No matter how proud you are, asking for help during challenging circumstances can make a big difference in whether it’s too difficult or not. Everyone needs help at some point, EVERYONE, and there is nothing to be ashamed about. Not asking for help when you really need some is not very smart though.

ACCEPTANCE- When you tried many times to do something and you keep failing, you must accept that the way you did it was wrong, you must accept the failure. But never ever accept the defeat- only accept the failure, accept that you can do better, learn from it, move forward and try again. If you need help, accept this too.

LEARN- ‘’ I never lose. It's either I win or I learn’’, keep this in mind at all times. When you think you lost and want to give up, think about it. Think about Abraham Lincoln, Darwin, Einstein, Henry Ford or even Walt Disney! You can never lose as long as you learn. If you didn’t achieve the expected, don’t consider yourself a loser but a learner. Be resilient, try and try again: things will ultimately go your way.

LISTEN- Listening is one of the most important skills for any type of success. It doesn’t mean at all that you have to listen to everything, particularly not to the people telling you that you can’t make it! But listening to criticism and feedback is very important for overcoming any type of challenge. Some people can try to bring you down and you should avoid them, but do listen the people that are trying to help you. Don’t be proud, don’t be arrogant, listen and act upon it.

ENTHUSIASM- This might sound strange, but without enthusiasm for what you do, things can get more difficult very easily. Positivity is key to any achievement; so don’t let the negativity bring you down. Things can get tough, but there is often a positive side to it. Not easy to find but there is, so keep looking, keep smiling and keep fighting.

NO- Learn to say no. When you feel that something is against your own belief or interest, simply say NO to it. In challenging circumstances, some people could try to take advantage and at that point you must affirm your personality and act upon what you think. If you think it’s a no, then it’s a no. If you think it’s a yes, then it’s a yes. Don’t let others influence you in a bad way.

GATHER- Before to prepare for a fight, Sun Tzu would agree that preparation and information gathering are a must. In challenges, it might not be easy to prepare yourself, depending on if you brought the challenge or if it fell upon you. Let’s say that you didn’t expect this challenge coming, it felt upon you. You might have lost the 1 battle because you were taken by surprise. Don’t wait the next day for more issues to come, prepare for the next battle. Gather information, research, ask, and get as much information as possible. When you have all the info, look at it, think and be ready.

ENERGY- When you are under the pressure of a challenge, you energy can drain very quickly. This is normal and at that point you need to refer to the ''ENTHUSIASM'' section above. But sometimes, it’s not only the mind that is tired but also the body. So, go for a walk, go swim, take some yoga classes, have some time alone, listen to music, do whatever you want but relax for a moment, take a deep breath. Stopping for a minute won’t make your problems bigger; it will just make your ideas clearer and will save you from many health issues.

Lucile Bourgoin
Consultant/ Founder at Smart Apply
www.smart-apply.com